Revenants & Dragons
by The Bonecrusher Hyena
Summary: Birthday oneshot for LunaMoonLight100. Turians don't celebrate birthdays. So when Garrus learns that Shepard's birthday is around the corner, he has no idea what to do. Luckily, he isn't alone in his quest to find the perfect for Shepard.


**About four years ago, I met someone named LunaMoonLight100 on FanFiction. This had to be one of the best moments of my life, and me and Luna grew very close, and I consider her one of my closest friends, even though we've never met in real life.**

 **So naturally, I decided to write something for her birthday. I originally wanted to write a** _ **"**_ _ **Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir" **_**story** **. And trust me, I tried! But I just couldn't get it right. So instead, I decided to write about characters I'm more familiar with. Mass Effect is one of my favorite games, and one of my favorite franchises in general. I have played through the games twice (One with a BroShep and the other with a FemShep) and own all the comics and novels as well. And my favorite romance for a FemShep is Garrus. I'm not even going to explain why, because…Let's face it. Almost everyone loves Garrus!**

 **So, yeah. Luna, this is for you. I hope you and everyone else who reads likes this fic. Happy birthday!**

 **-Talons of Ice**

* * *

Turians didn't really have that many holidays. And the one's they had were mostly centered around military events. Such as Unification Day, or Victory Day. There were of course a few other one's, and religious turians celebrated holidays that came with their faith. But in general, turians didn't have reason for celebrations that often.

So one thing that Garrus Vakarian always found strange and fascinating about human culture, was the rather large amount of diverse holidaysthey had. Given the fact the human race was so diverse, it really shouldn't have surprised him. But some of these holidays were so strange...A day to celebrate love, a holiday where human children had to find painted eggs hidden by an 'Easter Bunny'. Heck, they even had a day where they celebrated some religious figure coming back from the death! Some of them seemed so stupid, Garrus often theorized many were just excuses to have a day off work or school.

Birthdays were definitively one of those. Everyone of every species was born and got older over the years, there was nothing special about that. Yet humans insisted that the day of their birth had to be celebrated, preferably with a big party where they would receive gifts from friends and family. To the avarage turian, who were taught that the group was more important then the individuel, this seemed extremely selfish and stupid. And even though Garrus was far from the avarage turian, he couldn't help but agree.

That being said, he was quite surprised when Joker told him Jane, who most people knew as the famous Commander Shepard, would celebrate her own birthday soon. Shepard was probably the least selfish person Garrus had ever met, human or not. And in the middle of their suicide mission against the Collectors, it seemed very unlikely for Shepard to just throw a party dedicated to herself…Then again, stranger things had happened during his travels with the first human Spectre. Besides, after everything that happened between her and Kaiden Alenko on Horizon, Shepard could use some entertaiment. He still couldn't believe Kaiden had thought so little of his former commanding officer and friend. Tali actually had to hold him back from giving the idiot a piece of his mind! Nevertheless, being a turian wouldn't be an excuse if Garrus would do nothing for his girlfriend's birthday.

And that was the reason everyone's favorite turian vigilante was currently on the Citadel, roaming through the stashes of Citadel Souvenirs, a gift shop located in Zakera Ward. Garrus hadn't thought much of this 'mission' at first, thinking he could just buy something Shepard liked and get back to the _Normandy-SR2_. In practice, however, this plan went a lot different then he'd expected.

"There has to be something here for her…" muttered Garrus under his breath, his green avian eyes scanning the rows of product the shop sold. There were more then enough things to choose from. Model ships, fish, space hamsters, novels, snacks and lots more. But none of it seemed right for Shepard. Sure, she was a fanatic when it came to collecting model ships, but he didn't know which one's she had and which she one's Shepard still needed. The same problem was with the novels. Fish were great, but Shepard kept forgetting to feed them, causing her to constantly buy new one's. She already had a space hamster, and it seemed…cheap to buy snacks for her. She deserved much better then that.

He could, of course, buy her a new gun or weapon mod. But in all honesty, that seemed really cliché, and most members of the crew probably had thought of that already. Granted, he had seen Shepard eying that M-76 Revenant when they visited Kassa Fabrication…He'd keep it in mind, just in case.

"Can I help you with something, sir?" asked a sweet voice, and Garrus turned around to see a human shopkeeper. She was female, and he guessed about eighteen nineteen years old. She had brown hair and eyes of the same color.

"As a matter of fact, yes." Answered Garrus, clearing his throat awkardly. "I'm looking for a birthday present for my someone, but I'm not having much luck." He told her. The girl frowned, obviously confused. "Birthday? I thought turians didn't celebrate those?" she asked. "She's not a turian, she's human." Answered Garrus dryly.

The girl blinked in surprise. "O-oh! Excuse me for the misunderstanding. Turian-human couples aren't very common." She aplogised, but Garrus shrugged it of. "Meh, its fine. You're correct about such couples being uncommon." He told her. It was true. First contact between the System Alliance and Turian Hierarchy had been…unpleasant, resulting in a three month long conflict with around six-hundred casualties on both sides. Not a big or costy conflict in the grand scheme of things, but the humans insisted it on calling it 'The First Contact War', while the turians simply called it the 'Relay 314 Accident'. That rocky start, along with the fact turians closely resembled some sort of reptillain birds, was the reason fort he rarity of turians and humans dating.

Of course, Garrus wasn't the average turian. And Shepard was far from the avarege human. Not to mention his reach matched her flexibility perfectly…

Shaking away the dirty thoughts, he focused on the girl before him. "But, anyways, back to my problem. I need a present for my human girlfriend…Is there some sort of traditional birthday present?" he asked, hoping there was to make things easier. But the girl dissapointed him with a shake of her head. "I'm afraid not. A cake and gift cards are common, but they're basicly considered as a standard atribute of the birthday party. Its also common to give money, but…Many people consider it to be lazy and not very personal." She explained.

Of course it had to be difficult. It baffled Garrus how picky humans were for these sorts of holidays. Turians generally only received presents if they did something good or if they needed it. Receiving a present fort he sake of getting one was quite rare. It seemed almost ungrateful: having an entire day in your honor and then having the nerve to ask for even more. But he quickly shrugged those thoughts of. Aliens probably didn't have the most positive of his peoples' culture either.

"I see…"he answered, thinking about a solution. "Have you considered something she liked?" asked the shopkeeper. "Of course I have. But that isn't as easy as it sounds." Answered Garrus. "But most of it she already got. Such as her collection of model ships. If I suddenly start asking which one's she still needs, then the element of surprise is gone. She already has a hamster, and the fish…I'm not that cruel." He thought out loud, knowing very well Shepard often forgot to feed her fish.

"What about jewelry or clothing?" suggested the girl. "Most human women like jewelry. Maybe a necklace or a bracelet? Or what about a pair of earrings, along with a new dress?" she asked. The turian thought about it for a moment, trying to imagine Shepard in an expensive dress, jewelry and all…But failed to do so. Shepard hated dressed and jewelry…

"She would probably never need them." He told the girl. "We rarely go somewhere where we would need something like that, and jewelry would only get in the way on the battlefield.

"The battefield?" blinked the girl in surprise, and Garrus mentally cursed. He and Shepard had agreed to keep their relationship a secret for now, as Shepard wanted to find the right moment to tell everyone. So far, only Tali and Liara knew about their relationship. But considering EDI had eyes and ears everywhere, they were fairly certain she and Joker knew as well.

Of course, if rumors got out the famous Commander Shepard was dating a turian vigilante, things might get ugly. But before Garrus could make an excuse, the girl continued. "Oh, let me guess! She's with the Alliance military?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah! Fifth Fleet, under the command of Admiral Hackett." He said, quickly agreeing with her. "Oh, my brother is a private back on Earth! Trust me, I know just what you need." She said.

"You do?" asked Garrus, raising a plated eyebrow. "Yes! As she's a soldier, she could always use a new gun, or a brand-new set of armor."

"That seems…cliché, don't you think?" he asked with a frown, having thought about that earlier. "If she's a soldier, especially one that sees action on a regular basis, she probably would be grateful for it. And I happen to know someone who can help you…" she said, smirking. "I'm done in ten minutes. If you're willing to wait, I can help you."

"Well…Okay then." Answered Garrus, hoping he wouldn't end up regretting it.

* * *

"Here we are!" exclaimed the girl cheerfully. Some time later, Garrus and the girl were standing in front of another shop called Rodam Expeditions. Garrus knew the shop. They sold hunting supplies, such as guns and licenses, and tickets to locations where one could use the products they sold, such as the wastelands of Tuchunka, the wildernis of Noveria or the jungles of Palaven.

"Isn't this a compagny that deals in _hunting_ supplies?" asked Garrus, glancing at the shopkeeper. "They do. But I know the guy who works here. He has connections with some of the other gunshops on the Citadel." Explained the girl, as she let him.

Inside the store, a dark-gray turian with white tattoos on his cheeks, just below in his eyes, and on his mouth was busy polishing a M-97 Viper. The turian wore a green military outfit with a camouflage pattern. "Hey Etarn!" greeted the girl, walking up to the counter. The turian, Etarn, looked up at her and flared his mandibles into a smile. "Ayla! Good to see you." He greeted her, laying down the sniper rifle. "What brings you to my humble shop? I thought you weren't into guns?"

"No, but he is." Answered the girl, who Garrus finally knew the name of, and nodded at the vigilante. Etarn glanced at his fellow turian, leaning onto the counter. "Ah, a customer! What can I do for you?" he asked.

"It not for me, its for my girlfriend." Corrected Garrus him. "She's with the Alliance, and your friend here told me you could help me."

Etarn nodded. "Ah, I see. Well, what's she like? In terms of how she fights and such?" he asked. "Well, she's a Sentinel, though she relies more on her biotics then tech skills."

"Sentinel, huh? So she uses pistols, huh?" asked the turian shopkeeper. "Well, yeah. But she prefers assault rifles."

"Assault rifles?" asked Etarn, raising a plated eyebrow. "I thought Sentinels didn't use those."

"Well, she isn't really the avarage Sentinel." Admitted Garrus. Etarn nodded and activated his omni-tool, and several images of assault rifles appeared. "What rifle does she currently use?" he asked.

"An M-15 Vindicator Battle Rifle. Though she complains often about not firing fast enough and such." Told Garrus him. "Then I have just the gun you need!" exclaimed Etarn, not even looking at his omni-tool as he ran into the back of the store. A minute later he appeared again, carrying a large assault rifle, colored in red, black and gray. "This is the official upgrade of the Vindicator! It's the-"

"M-76 Revenant." Interupted Garrus him. "I know what it is. My girlfriend was staring at it for hours."

"She did?" asked Etarn, blinking in surprise. "Why not just bought it from the start?" he asked. "It seemed…cliché." Admitted Garrus, having lost count of how many times he had said that. Etarn nodded, and laid the rifle on the counter. "Then I think the choiche is already made, I think."

"I, erm…Don't think I can afford that." Admitted Garrus. Etarn frowned and was about to say something, when Garrus had an idea. "Say, uhm…Could we work out a discount?" he asked.

"A discount?" repeated Etarn, flaring his mandibles in disapproval. Garrus hesitated. If he would tell Etarn who he was, he would probably get the discount. But on the other talon, he had promised not to tell anyone.

Just then, something interrupted him. _"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite store on the Citadel!"_ sounded the voice recording through the shop. Garrus blinked in surprise, and gave Etarn a questioning look. "That? Oh, Commander Shepard came here a couple of days ago. We made a deal that if she would give me an endorsement, she'd get a discount.

"Here to? I already told her th-" he started, but Garrus stopped himself when Etarn's eyes widened. "Hang on. You told Shepard something?" he asked, and it was suddenly like he saw Garrus for the first time since he had entered the shop.

"Wait…Are you…Garrus Vakarian!?" gasped the shopkeeper, and Ayla stared at him with wide eyes as well. "The turian C-Sec Officer who helped Shepard take down Saren?" she asked in awe.

"…Yeah, that's me." Sighed Garrus, knowing no lie could possibly make this right. He wasn't as good with words as Shepard, who had solved problems with talking he didn't think possible. "Why didn't you say so earlier?!" exclaimed Etarn.

"There are rumors she and her team are taking on the Collectors. Is that true?" asked Ayla. "Well…Yeah. We are. But I can't go into details."

Etarn, however, ignored that last comment and just packed the Revenant into a bag. "I'll send this baby to the _Normandy_." He said. "What? Didn't you hear when I said I don't have the money?" asked Garrus, frowning.

"Never mind about that." Shrugged Etarn. "If Shepard has to take on the Collectors, she needs the best equipment possible. And who has better guns and armor then me? No one!" He said.

"Well, I suppose so…" admitted Garrus. "Then good! The gun will be there in an hour, along with the armor. "That fast? Well, tha-Wait, armor?" he asked.

Etarn nodded. "Blood Dragon Armor. Upgrades the shields and recharge time. Perfect for any user of biotics!" he said. "I really can't take all that. I mean-" started Garrus, but Etarn interrupted him.

"Nonsense! As the charming human saying goes, 'never look a horse in the face', right?" he said. Ayla frowned. "Erm, I don't think that's the right expression…"

"Well, whatever. Point is, just take the armor with you. Consider it my way of helping Shepard beat the Collectors, okay?" asked Etarn. Garrus looked at the Revenant and then at the hologram of the Blood Dragon Armor that was displayed. "Alright then…Thanks for the help. I appreciate it a lot." He thanked them. The two simply grinned and nodded. "It's nothing! Like I said, consider it our way to help Shepard beat the Collectors!"

Garrus nodded and flared his mandibles into a smile. "If there ever is something I can do for you in return, just send me a messenge, okay?" he said.

"Crystal." Nodded Etarn, while Ayla smiled. "Now go back to the _Normandy_! I'm sure you have lots to prepare." She said with a wink. "I indeed do…Thanks again." Smiled Garrus, before he turned around and left.

* * *

Two days later, it was the day Garrus had prepared for. Shepard's birthday. Tonight, he would come up to Shepard's cabin and give her his gifts. Just give it, compliment her and then see what happens. Sounded easy, right?

Well, no. If anything, Garrus felt more nervous about this then he did at any of his _Oserun_ -ceremonies. He had avoided Shepard for the entire day, constantly coming up with the excuse of the Normandy's weapon systems needing calibrations. And the moment to give confront Shepard was now…

Garrus sighed, gathering courage as he knocked on the door of Shepard's cabin, with the present that contained the Revenant and Blood Dragon Armor. A second later, the doors slided open, revealing Shepard in her regular Cerberus uniform, a datapad in one of her hands. "Garrus? To what do I owe this pleasure?" she asked, a thin smile on her lips.

"Well, I…Y'know, wanted to talk with you about something." Said Garrus, thankful Shepard wasn't a turian. If she was, she would have picked up his nervous sub-vocal sounds. "About what?" she asked, before frowning. "Look, Garrus. I already told you that if you are uncomfortable with this, we can-"

"What? No! Of course I want to be with you! It's just…" Garrus took a deep breath, holding the present out for her. "Happy birthday!" he said quickly. Shepard didn't take the present, and instead just stared at him in surprise. Fearing he had done something wrong, Garrus quickly started to apologize. "Did I do something wrong? Crap, I knew I should have done more research. Shepard, I- "

At that moment, Shepard took the present from him and laid it on her bed, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her lips against his mandibles. Garrus blinked in surprised, but slowly relaxed, wrapping his arms around Shepard as he started to kiss back. After a few seconds, Shepard pulled back and gently pressed her forehead against Garrus'.

"You remembered my birthday?" she asked, chuckling softly. "Of course I did. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't?" smiled Garrus back. "Well, you're the only who did. Everyone else is clueless. Even Tali!...And me." She added.

Garrus blinked in surprise. "What? You forgot your own birthday?" he asked, highly confused. "Garrus, I've been resurrected by a terrorist organization that I used to fight on a daily basis, in order to fight the descendants of the Protheans, who are servants of a sentient race of immortal machines allegedly waiting in Dark Space so they can wipe us out. I've been thinking about other stuff then growing older." She laughed, before she glanced at the present.

"Now, let's open this one, shall we?" she suggested, as she sat down on the bed and started tearing of the paper. When the gun and the armor were revealed, she gasped with wide eyes and started admiring the Revenant. "A Revenant!? These things cost a fortune! How did you get this?" she asked.

"Oh, y'know…I have my ways." Shrugged Garrus, his mandibles flaring into a small smile, while Shepard starting admiring the armor. "Blood Dragon Armor!?" she gasped. "How did you know I wanted this?"

"Lucky guess, I think." Chuckled Garrus. "So, you like it?" he asked. Shepard didn't answer with words and instead looked up at him with a smile, before she pulled him closer and kissed him deeply. Garrus blinked in surprise and kissed back, holding his human girlfriend tightly as the kiss grew more passionate and he was pulled onto the bed. Because of this, neither noticed Garrus omni-tool beeping with the following messenge:

 _ **Subject: Birthday**_

 _ **Hello Garrus,**_

 _ **So, how's the birthday so far? Did the gift work? Answer us soon as possible!**_

 _ **Tell Shepard we said 'Hi!"**_

 _ **Yours sincerely,**_

 _ **Etarn Tiron & Ayla Djuliman**_

* * *

 **So, what did you guys think? Like it? Hate it? Tell me! Critism is always helpful. For those who aren't familiar with turian culture, some of the terms might be unknown. So here are the meanings behind them!**

 **Unification Day: Celebrated on December 3rd. Marks the end of the Unification War, a civil war between several turian colonies.**

 **Victory Day: Celebrated on June 9th. Celebrates the end of the Krogan Rebellions.**

 **Oserun-Ceremony: A ceremony that recognizes the promotion of turians to a new tier. And seeing how the Turian Hierarchy has 27 tiers and turians are frequently promoted and demoted to higher or lower tiers, I think the average turian has a lot of them.**


End file.
